That something within

by  Jackie Dove-Miller  

 

There is something within me That is strong enough To keep me from toppling Over the edge of Sanity, Over the ledge of frustration Or over the hedge of All-out foolishness. It leads me to prayer When I would otherwise Break. There is something in my make-up Or my bringing up Or just the way I look up That straightens my back And bows my head. It becomes the focus of my meditation. The sentiment in my supplication, The reason for my transformation. That thing inside me Has me choosing light Though darkness covers all. It wells up like ocean waves Come to drown those who Think they deserve to push me back Hold me down or Steal my joy. I have a spiritual strength that Grows deeper and speaks louder as I get to know More about who I am. "Where did IT come from?" Someone recently asked. I answered, "In my developing stage, someone said out loud, 'You sure are good at _______,'" My puny soul embraced that seed, and it planted itself deep inside me and took root. I tested that tiny bit of ego-strength against The negative family messages that focused on What I was NOT good at, making me feel small And disconnected. I was NOT good at being like my mother Who was all but saintly. I was NOT good at being Like my sister who was beautiful and dainty. I was NOT ballerina thin, nor prissy neat, But I WAS good at ________ And when I looked a little further, I discovered that I was GOOD ENOUGH. Good enough to bear fruit And reap a harvest. Good enough to plant a seed In others and watch them grow Magnificent and free. I was GOOD ENOUGH to relate to The GOD inside of me. So, this poem is for all my sister-friends Who don't yet know that YOU are better than what your mothers, your teachers, the men in your life, or even the good sisters in church have called you. Because God has called you Blessed And HIS is the only voice that matters. So, here and now, I pray OUR sister-prayer, Dear Lord, Help me to release the self-doubt That lives in my heart. Remind me daily That I am the product of Your hands... And all that you make... ALL THAT YOU MAKE Is Perfect.  Amen