"Gems may be presious, but friends are priceless."

In less than 12 hrs 2008 will be history, and as I sat down to write my farewell 2008 post I was swept away by nostalgic thoughts/feelings. I signed on and hit the 'new post' button and I saw a picture of mon ami come into view, and before I knew it I was daydreaming about our times together (I mean this in a non-romantic way). I saw him with a big grin on his face while he was telling me about the new episode of Naruto. I remember thinking "he's so adorable... so passionate about this... he's crazy...". I try really hard to pay attention but I always seem to drift off to dreamyland. He gets this look in his eyes, kinda like a child that just got a new toy and thinks its the coolest thing ever. And he speech is so... animated... so full of life. Before I could finish that thought, I saw him looking at me from the chair next to mine, smiling at me with that same twinkle in his eye and it makes me wonder if... no, it couldn't be.

I don't know where he came from, but carino just decided to invade my thoughts too. He is such a sweet guy, really nice person. He's probably my only male friend that cares enough to read my blog. If that's not reason enough to love him I don't know what is. But trust me kid got some mad player skills. Of course he won't admit it. Hey, true players never admit it, but I can feel it. Don't get mad at me if you read this dear. I still love you anyway.

Now I see Jasmine and Pocahontas laughing their heads off. Jasmine is tearing up like she always does when she laughs too much, and nowPocahontas is snorting which is making Jasmine laugh even more. Jasmineis got her name because she looks like Jasmine from Aladdin. AndPocahontas got her name because... well... she's her favorite Disney princess. Pocahontas is still very much into Disney princesses. Pure innocence. These are my new girlfriends. They are beautiful, smart, fun, absolutely crazy women. Jasmine is kinda like Charlotte from Sex and the City, she has a great fashion sense, she is very caring, and she got a good man! We are still trying to figure out who Pocahontas is. She isn't settled like Miranda, and she's definitely NOT Samantha. Me, I get to be Carrie. Even though I'm not as fashionable as she is, I am a writer (or at least a wanna be writer), and I believe in fairytale love stories, and I kinda have my own Mr.Big.

B, I'm calling her "B" because she's the only girl that I've known that has as many admirers as Beyonce. Girl is gorgeous. I have yet to figure out if it's a blessing or a curse to have such beautiful girlfriends. Almost every guy at our high school wanted her. Imagine trying to get a guys attention standing next to her. Thankfully, our taste in men was very different and the guys I liked preferred nerds to supermodels.

Scotchie, my dear Scotchie. The best friend any one could ask for. She has put up with my whining for the past 3 yrs. She has spent countless hours trying to keep me sane amidst all the craziness that is my life. I want to be just like her when I grow up. She is also a beautiful, smart, tres intelligent woman. She has a song for every occassion, and has the ability to turn my frowns into smile with simple phrases such as 'i want to sleep, do u want to sleep?' or ' baby carrots'. Even though we don't talk as much as we used to, and I don't see her as often as I'd like to she is still a major part of my life and I would kill for her if I had to.

Mr.Big ... He is the only person I that I can't be mad at. If I claim to be angry with him all he has to do is look at me and all my anger disappears. He has a way of calling me just when I think to call him. I would pick up the phone and he'd say 'Hey babes, just called to see how my Queen is doing' , then we'd talk about our day. Then we'd get silent. On my end I'm listening to him breathe and wishing I could be where he is. Then he'd say 'can I tell you a story?' and then he'd tell me a story that is 75% true and 25% made up just so it can be funny. I miss having him next to me everyday. I miss the way he used to smile at me to let me know where he heart is when he was surrounded by girls who were practically begging for his attention. I miss the way we'd sit and hold hands and smile at each other and not say a word. Best conversations I've had in my life.

As 2008 leaves to make way for 2009, I am saying a prayer, thanking God for the friends he has given me. My only wish for 2009 is that God will bless all my friends and family and make all their dreams come true.

That something within

by  Jackie Dove-Miller  

 

There is something within me That is strong enough To keep me from toppling Over the edge of Sanity, Over the ledge of frustration Or over the hedge of All-out foolishness. It leads me to prayer When I would otherwise Break. There is something in my make-up Or my bringing up Or just the way I look up That straightens my back And bows my head. It becomes the focus of my meditation. The sentiment in my supplication, The reason for my transformation. That thing inside me Has me choosing light Though darkness covers all. It wells up like ocean waves Come to drown those who Think they deserve to push me back Hold me down or Steal my joy. I have a spiritual strength that Grows deeper and speaks louder as I get to know More about who I am. "Where did IT come from?" Someone recently asked. I answered, "In my developing stage, someone said out loud, 'You sure are good at _______,'" My puny soul embraced that seed, and it planted itself deep inside me and took root. I tested that tiny bit of ego-strength against The negative family messages that focused on What I was NOT good at, making me feel small And disconnected. I was NOT good at being like my mother Who was all but saintly. I was NOT good at being Like my sister who was beautiful and dainty. I was NOT ballerina thin, nor prissy neat, But I WAS good at ________ And when I looked a little further, I discovered that I was GOOD ENOUGH. Good enough to bear fruit And reap a harvest. Good enough to plant a seed In others and watch them grow Magnificent and free. I was GOOD ENOUGH to relate to The GOD inside of me. So, this poem is for all my sister-friends Who don't yet know that YOU are better than what your mothers, your teachers, the men in your life, or even the good sisters in church have called you. Because God has called you Blessed And HIS is the only voice that matters. So, here and now, I pray OUR sister-prayer, Dear Lord, Help me to release the self-doubt That lives in my heart. Remind me daily That I am the product of Your hands... And all that you make... ALL THAT YOU MAKE Is Perfect.  Amen

feeling blue...

I wish I were a boy... then maybe I could understand...

I wish I could get out of this circle.

Love and I are breaking up... again... but not for long because I know I'll change my mind and want to love again.