Monday, November 16, 2009
Lately I've been bitter. Really bitter. I've been such a b!tch to everyone who has the ill fate of being around me. It seems like I can't even help being mean, but it's not that I can't help myself I no longer want to. I don't care. I no longer care about anything. I feel like I'm even pulling away from God because I'm so angry at everyone and everything and myself that I don't think God will listen to my prayers. I even feel angry when I think about praying. I can't talk to God" in that tone". I only have one emotion and the only way to express it is to scream, punch something or cry, or all of the preceding at the same time. I seriously need a vacation. Some time ALONE. Really alone. I just want to be alone.
* Things are bad when the only thing that makes me less angry is listening to "3" by Britney Spears. *
Labels: angry, frustrated
posted by Nahjaj at 7:13 PM, |
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Everyone seems to be afraid of falling in love and (and/or) allowing someone to fall in love with them.Have we gotten to the point that we are all scared to death of a broken heart? Or is it that people just don't care anymore. Is it both?Being in love can be a very wonderful thing. Those that are truly in love, or have been in the past will tell you about the intensity of the joy that it brings. They will explain that it is like none other. Having your heartbroken by the one you love seems to have an even greater impact. It brings you so close to the ground that many wish they could just seep under without anyone even noticing because you'd rather go without being thrown a 'pity party'. It seems that after being in love and experiencing its pleasure, then being forced to deal with the pain of having the love taken away, no one wants to take the chance of allowing themselves to feel the bliss of being in love as a result of the fear of being thrown back into a state of despair.I've heard it said many times before ,"once bitten, twice shy", this seems to be the theme of people who have loved and lost. But what about " if at first you don't succeed, brush yourself off and try again".Labels: Thinking out loud
posted by Nahjaj at 3:48 PM, |
Saturday, October 24, 2009
*Leona Lewis
Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can't have everything
Don't you take chances
Might feel the pain
Don't you love in vain
Cause love won't set you free
I can't stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be
Chorus:
So what if it hurts me?
So what if i break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
Cause i'm just trying to be happy, yeah
Just wanna be happy, yeah
Verse 2:
Holding on tightly
Just can't let it go
Just trying to play my role
Slowly disappear, ohh
But all these days, they feel like they're the same
Just different faces, different names
Get me out of here
I can't stand by your side, ohh no
And watch this life pass me by, pass me by
Chorus:
So what if it hurts me?
So what if i break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
Cause i'm just trying to be happy, ohh, happy, ohh
Bridge:
So any turns that i can't see,
like I'm a stranger on this road
But don't say victim
Don't say anything
Chorus:
So what if it hurts me?
So what if i break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
Outro:
I just wanna be happy
Ohh, yeah, happy, ohh, happy
I just wanna be, ohh
I just wanna be happy
Ohh, happy
posted by Nahjaj at 6:41 PM, |
Saturday, October 03, 2009
How can I do the right thing when I don't know what the right thing is?!
Labels: the three muskateers
posted by Nahjaj at 7:44 PM, |
Friday, September 18, 2009
It's somewhat relieving to know that I'm not the only one that has had to endure this pain but it also makes me sad to know other people have to feel this way. I hate this roller coaster that I'm on. I wish I could just not care anymore so the pain would go away. They say time heals all wounds but this one seems to be getting wider with every passing day. Until the day I get over you (I don't even want to get with you) and move on I am here sitting in my room, thinking bout you, almost wishing I never met you.
"Never again" that's what I said to myself
I never wanna feel kind of pain again boy
Just when I think it's over
Just when I think it's through
I find myself right back in love with you
So why does it hurt so bad oh baby
Why do I feel so sad
Thought I was over you
I keep crying
When I don't love you
So why does it hurt so bad
I thought I had let you go
You could
Gotta get you outta my head
Boy you hurt me so bad
(from Whitney Houston- Why does it hurt so bad)
Labels: for my friend, letters to him..., sad
posted by Nahjaj at 7:08 PM, |
Sunday, September 13, 2009
i want you
only you
i keep coming back to you
what is it with you
i guess its just you being you
i love you
Labels: for my friend, letters to him..., random stuff, Thinking out loud
posted by Nahjaj at 6:32 PM, |
Thursday, September 03, 2009
For the past couple days I've only been eating to stay alive. I have to force myself to put the food in my mouth, chew and swallow. As if this isn't bad enough, I can't sleep. You'd think that since I can't sleep I would stay up late and be productive, or at least pass the time on facebook. This is not the case. I stay in bed, eyes closed, dreaming, but not sleeping. I have intense headaches probably due to the lack of sleep and maybe to the fact that I'm dehydrated. The only liquids to pass my lips is water and mouthwash I use to rinse. I don't know how I to fix my current "im falling in love symptoms" especially since it's not due to the usual cause. Hopefully it will all go away soon and I can go back to being normal, as relative as that might be.
p.s. Love kinda stinks sometimes, doesn't it? just sayin...
posted by Nahjaj at 8:05 AM, |
