Friday, September 18, 2009

Waiting to exhale...

It's somewhat relieving to know that I'm not the only one that has had to endure this pain but it also makes me sad to know other people have to feel this way. I hate this roller coaster that I'm on. I wish I could just not care anymore so the pain would go away. They say time heals all wounds but this one seems to be getting wider with every passing day. Until the day I get over you (I don't even want to get with you) and move on I am here sitting in my room, thinking bout you, almost wishing I never met you.


"Never again" that's what I said to myself
I never wanna feel kind of pain again boy
Just when I think it's over
Just when I think it's through
I find myself right back in love with you


So why does it hurt so bad oh baby
Why do I feel so sad
Thought I was over you
I keep crying
When I don't love you
So why does it hurt so bad
I thought I had let you go
You could
Gotta get you outta my head
Boy you hurt me so bad

(from Whitney Houston- Why does it hurt so bad)

Sunday, September 13, 2009

you

i want you
only you
i keep coming back to you
what is it with you
i guess its just you being you
i love you

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Can't eat, Can't sleep, Not falling in love!

For the past couple days I've only been eating to stay alive. I have to force myself to put the food in my mouth, chew and swallow. As if this isn't bad enough, I can't sleep. You'd think that since I can't sleep I would stay up late and be productive, or at least pass the time on facebook. This is not the case. I stay in bed, eyes closed, dreaming, but not sleeping. I have intense headaches probably due to the lack of sleep and maybe to the fact that I'm dehydrated. The only liquids to pass my lips is water and mouthwash I use to rinse.  I don't know how I to fix my current "im falling in love symptoms" especially since it's not due to the usual cause. Hopefully it will all go away soon and I can go back to being normal, as relative as that might be.




p.s.  Love kinda stinks sometimes, doesn't it?  just sayin...



Monday, August 24, 2009

Still...

After going through this many times in my life, I still get butterflies in my stomach. Not becasue I am afraid. This is the result of overwhelming joy.

Today is the first day of school. 4th yr in university. Stop looking at me like that! School is fun...on occasions.

I still pack my bag overnight, think about what I should wear, how I'm going to comb my hair. I even think about what I'll have for lunch.

I still wake up hours before its time to get ready and stare at the clock with anticipation.

Thoughts of what the year will be like, all the things I'll learn, all the people I will meet, how much I'll long for the next break after the first week flow in my mind.

There is a pleasant smile fixed on my lips.

This is year I vow to do my best. Try to limit the procrastination. Maybe I'll leave the latter for another time.


HERE'S TO ANOTHER GREAT YEAR!!!

CHEERS



*p.s.*

As I wrote this is was listening to Pandora radio. These people know the inner working of my mind. They know exactly what to play. Five stars for Pandora!!!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Never forget your worth


By the time the Lord made woman he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared to him and said, “Why are you spending so much time on this one?”
The Lord answered, “Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 moveable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart and she will do everything with only two hands.”
The angel was astounded at the requirements. “Only two hands? No way! And that’s just on the standard model? That’s too much work for one day; wait until tomorrow to finish.”
“But I won’t” the Lord protested. “I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick and can work 18 hour days.”
The angel moved closer and touched the woman. “But you have made her so soft, Lord.”
“She is soft” the Lord agreed, “but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.”
“Will she be able to think?” asked the angel.
The Lord replied, “Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate.”
The angel then noticed something, and reached out, touched the woman’s cheek. “Oops it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.”
“That’s not a leak” the Lord corrected, “that’s a tear!”
“What’s the tear for?” the angel asked.
The Lord said, “the tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride.”
The angel was impressed. “You are a genius Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing.”
And she is.
Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and carry their burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don’t take “no” for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a wedding or a birth. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes and colours. They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or email to show you how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their friends and family. Women have vital things to say and everything to give.
However, if there is one flaw in women,
it is that they forget their worth.
*inspirational forwarded message*

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

almost defeated...


I haven't posted anything in a while because I've been busy studying for the MCAT, thinking about studying for the MCAT or convincing myself that I should be studying for the MCAT.


At this point, I am not studying for the MCAT. I am, however, freaking out about the Phsyics II class I am taking. Today was the third class and I am completely lost! I found it hard, in fact, IMPOSSIBLE to comprehend what the professor was lecturing about, and I have a test tomorrow. I have put off taking this class for 4 years because I knew it's not one of my strong points but now I'm thinking I might have to change my career and life plans because of this stupid class! Why on earth do I need to know any Physics?!


I am so frustrated now. I just want to go to sleep and pray that when I wake up this will all go away.


I would drop the class and go to plan B (skip medical school and be a physician assistant) but I can't tell my parents that I'm going to waste over $1,000 (it's too late to get a refund for the class and I already paid for my MCAT too...).


What am I going to do?


I need a tutor and some help from God realllllly bad!


:'(

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Live like you were dying!

i've been doing crazy things all wknd in the name of being bold. i now know why people do some of the outrageous things they do. the adrenaline rush is awesome!!! (after u get the courage to do it and before u start worrying abt the consequences) but i also now know that staying in ur comfort zone is ok because in the morning even if u have regrets you won't have to worry abt broken bones or a broken reputation. hopefully when all is said and done my bones and reputation will still be in tip top shape! LOL


***soundtrack***

1. Calle Ocho (I know you want me) - Pitbull
2. Love Games - Lady Gaga
3. Live like you were dying - Tim McGraw