Random thoughts 09/10

• I love hiking! Who would've thought I was an 'outdoorsy' kinda girl!?
• I miss my long, red hair. Since I can't let my hair grow in 30 mins I'm gonna have to just be satisfied with short,red hair.
• Good friends are hard to find but once you've found them your life will never be the same. (btw, I miss you Scotchie)
• I am now a working girl! for a while anyway...
• Medical school applications are so much stress!
• I still love my life no matter how screwed up some moments may be.
• God is ALWAYS good!

Life

I used to know who I am. I used to know who I wanted to be. Now, I'm not so sure. This confusion was supposed to come when I was in high school. Why the delay?  Maybe this is my mid-life crisis. Hmmm... well whatever happens happens.

As of right now I'm just gonna go with the flow and see where it leads. However, since I am me, whoever that might be, I'm coming up with a plan. This I know is something I do. I am going to re-learn French and be fluent in the language by the end of the year. And since thinking in school years is another thing I do this means that by June 30th 2011, I will be able to write an entire blog post in French, a grammatically correct blog post entirely en francais.

The things we do for the ones we love.

I have to start working out and cut out my excessive consumption of cheese before my brother starts to disown me. He keeps complaining that I'm getting too fat. It's true. As a result of his constant badgering I have started the Jullian Michaels 30-day shred program (I'm on day 2) even though I'm not a fan of Jullian Michaels. I am so appalled at a comment she made a couple months ago about not wanting to have a baby because she doesn't want to be fat! Seriously?! She's so superficial and selfish!  Anywho, I have heard her program works so I'm giving it a try. Let's see if I can really lose 20 lbs in 30 days. I will be happy with 10 lbs because I don't know how the whole giving up cheese thing is gonna work out... Wish me luck!

Shameless

My room is overflowing with clothes and shoes and still I can't find anything to wear! This is crazy! I need a bigger closet. I also need to get rid of the clothes I don't wear anymore and will never wear again. And then... I need to go shopping :)

Random thoughts.

Was just browsing old posts and saw some where I wrote down random thoughts, those were the best depiction of my psyche at that time in my life. I think I will make a practice to post random thoughts at least once per month. Starting today.

1. First and foremost, GOD IS STILL GOOD!!!

2. Sadly, men still SUCK!

3. Chilling in your workout clothes after working out is gross. (heading to the shower as soon as I get done with this).

4.Twitter is as bad as I thought it would be. Possibly worst.

5.Ladies, your man will NEVER truly understand you. Deal with it.

6. Blogging is still therapeutic.

7. Yep, I still love him! (mon ami)

Eminem ft.Rihanna LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE

(chorus)

Just gonna stand there

And watch me burn

But that's alright

Because I like

The way it hurts

(it's not ok. i can't stand the way it hurts.)

Just gonna stand there

And hear me cry

But that's alright

Because I love

The way you lie

I love the way you lie

I love the way you lie

I can't tell you what it really is

I can only tell you what it feels like

And right now there's a steel knife

In my windpipe

I can't breathe

But I still fight

While I can fight

As long as the wrong feels right

It's like I'm in flight

High of a love

Drunk from the hate

It's like I'm huffing paint

And I love it the more that I suffer

I sufficate

And right before im about to drown

S[he] resuscitates me

S[he] fucking hates me

And I love it

Wait

Where you going

I'm leaving you

No you ain't

Come back

We're running right back

Here we go again

It's so insane

Cause when it's going good

It's going great

I'm Superman

With the wind in his bag

She's Lois Lane

But when it's bad

It's awful

I feel so ashamed

I snap

Who's that dude

I don't even know his name

I laid hands on her

I'll never stoop so low again

I guess I don't know my own strength

You ever love somebody so much

You can barely breathe

When you're with them

You meet

And neither one of you

Even know what hit 'em

Got that warm fuzzy feeling

Yeah them chills

Used to get 'em

Now you're getting fucking sick

Of looking at 'em

You swore you've never hit 'em

Never do nothing to hurt 'em

Now you're in each other's face

Spewing venom

And these words

When you spit 'em

You push

Pull each other's hair

Scratch, claw, bit 'em

Throw 'em down

Pin 'em

So lost in the moments

When you're in 'em

It's the rage that took over

It controls you both

So they say it's best

To go your separate ways

Guess that they don't know ya

Cause today

That was yesterday

Yesterday is over

It's a different day

Sound like broken records

Playin' over

But you promised her

Next time you'll show restraint

You don't get another chance

Life is no Nintendo game

But you lied again

Now you get to watch her leave

Out the window

Guess that's why they call it window pane

Now I know we said things

Did things

That we didn't mean

And we fall back

Into the same patterns

Same routine

But your temper's just as bad

As mine is

You're the same as me

But when it comes to love

You're just as blinded

Baby please come back

It wasn't you

Baby it was me

Maybe our relationship

Isn't as crazy as it seems

Maybe that's what happens

When a tornado meets a volcano

All I know is

I love you too much

To walk away though

Come inside

Pick up your bags off the sidewalk

Don't you hear sincerity

In my voice when I talk

Told you this is my fault

Look me in the eyeball

Next time I'm pissed

I'll aim my fist

At the dry wall

Next time

There will be no next time

I apologize

Even though I know it's lies

I'm tired of the games

I just want her back

I know I'm a liar

If she ever tries to fucking leave again

I'mma tie her to the bed

And set the house on fire

And so the story begins...

Woke up, turned off the fan, pulled the sheets over my shoulders and went to back to sleep. I picked up right where I left off before the chill of the air in my room distracted me. My dream continued to feed the hunger in me. For a second I thought it was real. I could feel you, smell you, taste the sweetness of your lips as they grazed mine. I fell deeper. I could see the love in your eyes. My lips curved into a smile. You pulled me closer. I could feel your heart beating in sync with mine. I am asleep, but not completely. I am thinking about how disappointed I will be when I am finally awakened to reality. I fight these thoughts off. Trying to stay in this moment, with you, forever. I can now hear the rain pelting on the roof. Music coming in through the slightly opened door. The struggle is harder. I don't want to leave. Don't want to let you go. Why aren't you fighting with me? Help me! Why are you letting go? Don't let go...