I'm surrounded by geniuses and the competiton is stiff
But I like challenges so I'm gonna roll with it....
A newly acquired friend of mine has been stressing over a certain 'pothole' in her life. She's really young and this may soon pass but it's got me thinking. Is it right for us to set standards for our significant others? Standards that they may have no intentions of living up to.
This friend of mine is very similar to me. We bascially have to same goals in life. Get into medical school, get our M.D. degree, marry our prince charming and live happily ever after (yes, it's that simple!).
Thing is... we have certain standards that our 'potential' prince charming have to live up to in order to qualify for the position.
First and foremost, he must have the same or at least similiar religious beliefs to the ones we have. Secondly, he must be physically attractive and have a nice personality (loyal, humble, kind, caring, funny...etc). Finally, he must be academically inclined... well he has to at least be aiming to get an M.D degree or equivalent... PhD in something worthwhile.
Is this too much to ask? (the whole M.D/ PhD. thing?)
Are our standards too high?
Should there be exceptions?
8 comments:
i think there standards which can be compromised and some which just can't be...
I can write a whole book in response to your comment....but time's not on my side. In simple words...I say pick ur battles...there are some worth fighting while others are not....so in essence think about those things you are willing to compromise and those which you aren't....Most importantly love yourself first...that way you can learn to love others for who they are.
Truth is, we all have basic standards under which we are not willing to go.
However, in honesty, I believe that God determines who will be in our lives. So, the best we can hope for, is that the best person for us will be the person with the attributes we hope for.
Best of luck!
NIGERIAN CURIOSITY
IT WAS SO MUCH EASIER WHEN I ONLY HAD ONE...
You know what they say about expectations? they are all just in our mind so if there's anyone to be disappointed it is the person who's expectant of another
Expectations are ok to set just so long as one doesn't focus on them too much to the point of losing sight of the bigger picture
That's some set of standards you got there...I think you should keep your standards but at the same time compromise is always a good thing. Like you could meet someone who is perfect but doesn't have the same religious beliefs, if any, but you could compromise on that so long as he never pushed you to change yours or never forced his on you. Love is weird, but setting standards can help you weed out the losers but obviously if you're unyielding and uncompromising you could end up overlooking that perfect guy without even realising it.
I agree with shonavixen there are standards that can be compromised with and others that can't, you are not expected to marry a plumber or taxi driver but setting a limit that he be pursuing a master/ph.d is dangerous.
You are not settling, what God has for you is for you and the only person who really knows what you need is God so instead of coming up with a list of things that he needs to have focus instead on his character and seeking the will of God and the man that you do end up falling totally for will be the man that God created just for you
i know this sounds cliche but i am currently pursuing my masters and my boyfriend hasn't even completed the first two years of college and yes my parents are livid but i have not yet come across a man (and believe mii i have been surrounded by well to do nigerian men for a while) who's character is more intune with mine
so don't settle on the things that matter because a ph.d does not equal love and affection, a ph.d does not treat you with respect. a man does
okay i need to stop typing now
You know, in my country marrying a plumber is a great thing, those guys are rich, cause there are very few of them! And they they also come home at a nice time and aren't stressed out of their minds like most Uni grads are. Have plenty of time for you (and the kids), but that's just here :-)
as everyone seems to say, expectations are just are thing of the mind sometimes and reality can be harsh...but it doesnt mean that you have to lower your standards, at the end of the end its compromise and what makes you happy. if say, you found a man who has all those qualities and mad eyou happy, faithful and all, but he didnt have the education you want, would get rid of him?
**oh, and thanks for following my blog. am back now...
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